Greetings, Gear Up For Sports readers. As promised, this article is Norv Turner bashing prose. I am a huge San Diego Chargers fan, so I am allowed to voice my opinion about organizational changes that need to be made, and replacing the head coach is one of them.

First of all, I just don’t understand why they fired Marty Schottenheimer after a 14-2 season. In 2006, the Bolts had 14 wins and only 2 losses – are you kidding me? That is the Chargers best season ever, and someone thought firing the head coach after that was a good idea? Yes, yes, I know all about Marty-ball… he has a horrible playoff record of 5-13 with the Browns, the Chiefs, and the Chargers, but it seems to me that this is a problem that could have been worked around. I watched the playoff game that the Chargers lost to the Patriots during the 2006/2007 season, and Marty wasn’t even wearing headphones and a mike to call the plays during the first half of the game. I don’t know at what point he did start calling the plays, but it was during the 2nd half as San Diego’s lead increasingly decreased and then slipped away in the final 74 seconds of the game. It looks as if they were trying to defy the heart-breaking curse of Marty-ball, but the problem during that game was not Schottenheimer… the problem with that game was turnovers. San Diego fumbled more balls than Cardinal Law. New England gained an extra 14 points from San Diego turnovers. The Patriots also threw 3 interceptions, but the extra points that the Chargers gained from New England turnovers was zip, nada, goose egg, doughnut. The final score of that playoff game was New England 24 – San Diego 21. It should have been New England 10 – San Diego 21, but the football itself is shaped funny… you never know how it will bounce.

So, if Marty can’t win the big ones, I understand replacing him. Football coaches are hired to be fired. However, in what universe do you replace a winning head coach with Norv Turner? This guy is a moron! During the last 2 seasons I have seen the most idiotic plays being called, that I am developing tumors each autumn. In 2007, even the San Diego players themselves said that Marty would work with all of the coaches during practice, including the defense, but Norv only works with the offensive coaches and teams. Offense is all he knows. Yes, he was a great offensive coordinator when he held that post in Dallas from 1991 – 1993, where he won 2 Super Bowl rings, but as a head coach, he really stinks. Norv’s career record as a head coach is 58-82-1. Marty’s career record as a head coach is 200-126-1. WTF???!!!

The only reason that Norv made it to the playoffs in 2007 and 2008, is because his team has the most powerful ammunition in the NFL: Gates, Tomlinson, Sproles, Rivers, Merriman, and even Kaeding (although Kaeding is a little light in the pants to kick the ball really far). Norv knows how to load the gun, and he also knows how to pull the trigger, he just doesn’t know where the friggin’ target is. My beloved team went 11-5 in 2007, and only 8-8 in 2008 with Turner at the helm.

Congratulations, San Diego. You won’t ever win the Super Bowl with this nincompoop running things. I hope that I am wrong… I really do… but the only time that I would replace Schottenheimer with Turner, would be on Opposite Day. The Chargers will still win when they play the Raiders, at least. Do you know what they call a drug-ring in Oakland, California? A huddle.